Wished I was home

Finally, the three most heavy exams are over. One more next Tuesday, and I'm done with the semester.

Finally, some time for myself, to grieve.

My grandpa passed away last saturday. It was around 6am when I got the call from home. I struggled on whether to go home or not, but decided to stay for the exams. The reason was simple, if me going home would revive my grandpa, I would take a flight right away. But the reality has set itself in and there's nothing I can do.

Within six months two of my grandparents passed away. Grandpa fell down and injured his pelvis more than one month ago, and he hadn't recover since. I went back when he was readmitted the third time because of a heartattack, and was with him in the hospital for two days. Looking back, I'm really glad I went back, cuz it was the last time I saw grandpa.

He was a very strange and stubborn man, with all his queer habits. Mom joked that grandpa would make it through because he could still scold people when he was in the hospital. =) But apparently his ressillience, which had made him a strong character in the family, couldn't bring him any further. It was time, and he passed away in peace. Mom said she prayed that grandpa could wait till I finish my exams, but he kept telling daddy that he wanted to choose a "good date". Sure enough, his final date happened to be the 15th of the lunar month. He had his last wish.

I didn't tell my friends until a couple of days ago. I went around being my old self, trying hard to keep the grief at bay so that I won't start crying everytime I open the textbook. I think I managed to pull myself through. Now I have only one paper left. I can take a deep breath and bid goodbye to him.

Well, for me, it won't really be the last goodbye until I have gone home and paid my respect.

Life is so vulnerable. I wished we had more time.