ARRRGGH!

 I am so unbelievably inefficient!!!

Just got scolded by my supervisor for not doing something that can be done in just 10 minutes. The worst thing is, he proved that to me by finishing the task. That's the worst humiliation you can give a person. To ask somebody why a task is not done and say "nevermind, it's done already". I don't even get a chance to undo the mistake.

My biggest problem is being awfully bad in time management and in prioritizing things. I always try to do everything, and at the end, nothing is done well. I didn't complete the 10-minute task because I was revising for a module, which can be done tomorrow, sunday, or even next week! Wherelse the 10-minute task had to be done asap cuz we're one day later than the dateline!  Sometimes i really amazed myself by being so blissfully ignorant about the urgency of things. 

This is not the first time something similar has happened. I've been scolded many times for not doing things that I said I would do. I wonder what other people actually think about me. Whether they'll say "Alison? Oh, she likes to give empty promises". And it's not the first time I told myself I won't do it again. I'll be more carefull and make sure something like this doesn't happen again. But it does, and I get disappointed and frustrated about myself once more.

Gosh, I guess its not about being cautious, cuz you can't really keep everything in your head every single second. I think its about thinking differently--be more attentive to things that affect other people. Try to complete tasks so that others won't get jeopardized. 

I'm looking blankly at his email now, don't really know how to reply. I'm sure I'll have to apologize, but whatever reasons i give will be unacceptable. I can imagine him thinking "what? this can be done in 10 minutes. Don't give stupid reasons for not doing it."

Guess I'll just have to own up to it. Shit.

This should really teach me a lesson, before something that is more serious happens.